I hope you all had a wonderful and loving Thanksgiving. I am currently hung over from all the yummy food, delicious leftovers, and family.
So worth it. And much needed after the past few weeks I’ve had.
At the end of each yoga class, and often times the beginning, I offer a pray to myself to be gentle, be kind, be loving to you (look familiar) as a reminder of what it is I am doing and how it is I’m going to get there. This mantra always brings me peace and gives me that little extra something I need to keep me rocking and rolling.
However, lately I haven’t been very gentle or kind or loving. On the contrary, I’ve been very tough, terribly inconsiderate, unbelievably mean to me.
I have been putting so much pressure on myself to always feel great, to never be anxious or nervous, and to be on it at all times. With all that pressure, I was being the opposite of what I was trying to not.
I was so afraid that if I wasn’t feeling inspired than I had done something wrong or I had slipped back into old ways. I was constantly in this all or nothing battle with myself and always trying to analyze my feelings to the point I was driving myself mad.
All the questioning, over thinking, and evaluating led me back to a dark place where I felt so restricted, judged, and as if nothing I did was enough. I found myself in familiar water where the tides were rough and about to swallow me whole again.
I wasn’t inspired to cook and uneasy about eating which led to me not feeling as though I could write because I had nothing inspiring to share and nothing yummy prepared. Then I was beating myself up for all of this because I thought I had gotten past this which led to more guilt, more lack of inspiration, and more anxiety.
Around. And around. And around I go.
As I talked about here, I am so thankful for the Train and my friends and family. If it were not for him and a very special lady in my life I may have still been traveling down that dark road.
As tough as I like to believe I am, there are still times that I need some (extra) love and support from those who love me.
Today I am out of rocky water and sailing through the storm. I feel better about where I am and where I don’t want to be. And this all came from truly being gentle, kind, and loving to myself. I listened to my heart, was kind to my soul, and loving to my tummy. I even kicked my feet up and relaxed for a bit.
I always learn so much about myself during these hard times and even though they are not fun I appreciate them none the less.
I guess the point I am trying to get across is life is full of ups and down, ons and offs, highs and lows, be gentle with yourself as you ride the ride. Don’t over think the process, but don’t allow yourself to go through the motions.
Tell yourself this every moment you can: You only get one, one life, one shot down here. How do you want to do it? How do you want to be remembered?
Tell me about you.
Be gentle. Be kind. Be loving to you.