Hello and happy Saturday! Again a big thank you to LT for being so courageous and telling us her story.
Well, we’re still floating along. We’ve visited Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, which I must say was truly amazing! Now we’re working our way back to NYC. In the meantime, I have another treat for you all. I’d like you all to warmly welcome MR, an extremely close and dear friend of mine who has been through thick and thin with me, and struggling herself from a few food hardships. I asked her to share her story with you all and she graciously accepted. Well, before the Train notices me gone, I ask that you give love, support, and a gentle ear to my F.O.F.
Food poisoning? Flu bug?
Yesterday at work around 2:00pm, I found myself going to the restroom every 20 minutes to relieve my cramping and screaming bowls. Then I was flushed with hot waves, and feelings of queasiness. About every twenty-minutes I was hit with a feeling of “Am I going to vomit or do I need the restroom?” It was horrible, and only got worse when I got home. I had a fever and soon found myself bent over a garbage can vomiting, while sitting on the toilet. You’ll have to excuse the explicitness, but I was a seriously feeling the worst I’ve felt in years, and wondering why?
Before falling ill (and I write this with overwhelming feelings of nausea) I was going to write about my “life plate”. This is not an original idea, but when I say ‘life plate’ I refer to everything that is consuming my time in my life.
Last August I started working with a non-profit organization and my work is dedicated to the immigrant community and worker rights. This is the ideal job for me- it requires a lot of energy (50-60hrs per week of energy), passion, I use all of my skills, and I learn everyday. Since last August, I’ve not only fallen in love and dedicated myself to my career, but I’ve also fallen (whole-heartedly and happily so) in love with my boyfriend. These components of my life plate make me the happiest I’ve been since I was too naive to understand the pressures of the world, let’s say 10 years old.
Before we go much further, I should add that the boyfriend and I live 2hours away from each other but are so overwhelmingly enchanted by one another that we see each other 4 or 5 days a week. (Which means several hours of driving, and several dollars spent on this commuting).
Socializing or better said, keeping good with my lady friends, commuting to see my beau, working 50-60hr weeks (and many weekends), and spending quality time with my beau has pretty much filled up my life plate. And I’ve been doing so good at managing so many things at once- I never fail actually. Granted I’ve gained 10 pounds since last August, and I’ve been eating out a lot more- but “hey it’s because I’m less selfish and dedicating myself to really making a difference in people’s lives and I’m building my relationship”. These are the thoughts that always alleviate those 10 pounds that have found a home on my body.
For the last 3 months, those 10 pounds have really been getting to me. So, I have been slyly trying to slip myself back on to that plate. Ya know some genuine time with me to hit the gym, cook super healthy meals, yoga… all of those things that sort of consumed my life at one point and enabled me to loose a 40 pounds after college. But I just haven’t been able to find the motivation, time or space in my life for me.
Now, I’m laying in bed 10 pounds heavier than I want to be, feeling guilty for not being able to go to work today, and my body screaming at me to please take care of it. It’s sort of ironic that I’ve been relieving myself of the guilt from abusing my body this last 11 months by convincing myself it’s for a better cause- my career, and if that’s not good enough, to keep my relationship healthy and happy. And yet, since yesterday, my body has been interrupting both my career and my love life (it’s pretty
hard impossible to attempt any sort of romance while vomiting).
The truth of the matter is I can no longer keep up with that life plate of “happiness” without somehow putting myself on it. My body is failing me, because I’ve been failing my body. I’m sick because I haven’t eaten well once this entire week. I’ve even fallen out of my pattern of one good day, one bad day, I’ve just completely succumbed to eating what is convenient (while maintaining vegetarian) and convincing myself that next week I’m doing smoothies and greens. Now I lay ill, alone (for the first time in months), and more aware than ever of what I’ve been neglecting. I can no longer justify my habits for the once a week 50-mile bike ride I do with my boyfriend, I can no longer say I have to eat this because all of my friends are eating like this, and I will no longer say I can manage a full life plate vacant of a “me” spot.
No matter how good life can seem to be, it won’t stay that good forever if we don’t make time for ourselves. Us modern women are easily caught up in our careers and living independently, that love is often put on the back burner, especially love for ourselves. Today, I am forced to recognize more than ever that I cannot love my boyfriend and my career without putting some love into myself- if not I’ll end up in a bed alone, unable to work, and with a body trampled from neglect, like today.
My best friend who writes an amazing blog (eh hmm) has been telling me for some time now, that if I don’t take care of my body then I’m not going to be able to do my best at my work- that a clear mind and healthy body keeps us functioning at our best. Well I apologize for not taking your words more seriously F.O.F., it took vomiting and shitting (my words not MR’s) for two days to knock some sense in to me. From here on out, I’m slicing some time off that career space on my life plate and starting a space for me.
Mil gracias por dejarme compartir mi historia ❤
What does your life plate look like? Tell me about you.
*Gracias mi amore por tu valentia ❤