Lately I’ve been feeling a little torn. I keep getting the sense I may have gotten on the wrong ride. Having a strong enthusiasm for wellness, I like getting to be a part of making people’s lives healthier. But beyond that, I have no idea what it is I want to do with my life. At times I want to pursue my love for vegan cooking and baking, while other times I want to expand my knowledge in holistic medicine. Just because I have a love and appreciation for something doesn’t mean I am meant to do it as my career. But what then? This is why I feel I may have zigged instead of zagged or took a left rather than a right when traveling along my career path.
During my time in Boise, I found I had a knack for listening and counseling people on topics of disordered eating, health, and general life problems. Being that I could relate and level with many of them made it easier for them to open up to me, trust me, and listen to and understand what it was I was advising. It helped keep me in check because I never want to be a “do as I say, not as I do” type of person – a win win situation. With that said, I have been thinking a lot of going back to school for holistic medicine/counseling and starting my own counseling practice. Being in a field that is focused on research and literature, I am exposed daily to new and amazing findings. However, these studies are often one-sided and often times only reveal partial/biased information. I have never been on to take things at face value – obviously, thus the reason for becoming a vegan – and tend to get very irritated and somewhat discouraged at the fact that the masses are being exposed to only a partial amount of the data. When this happens, it makes me want to do more with the knowledge and background I have in healthcare/nutrition/medicine/etc. But going back to school and starting over again (not to mention attaining more student loan debt) keeps this dream out of arms reach.
Kansas City has a growing source of vegan/vegetarian restaurants and coffee shops. Every time I walk into my favorite Mud Pie Vegan Coffee House & Bakery I am so inspired at the possibilities and opportunities I would have in this field. Mr. Muffin Coffee House and Vegan Bakery, the hippie chic retro eclectic coffee house and bakery is a dream I have had for quite some time now. Not only would I get to focus on vegan health and nutrition, I’d get to cook, bake, make coffee/coffee house drinks, be artistic, and be a part in the change and innovation of veganism, organic/locally grown, and health. However, fear stops me in my tracks when I think of starting my own business…
I’ve reached a stand-still because I have these dreams and don’t know where to go with them or even how to go about making any of them my reality. And I don’t know even which one I would want to make a reality, they all seem so appealing to me, with differing aspects that present challenges and joys. I have to admit though, change is scary. Especially during a time in the Train and I life where we need a little stability (a.k.a. we have bills to pay).
I guess what I am saying is I just don’t know what it is I want to do with my life anymore. I know what routes I would like to take, but not sure which route is right for me. I do know one thing for sure, whatever I do, I have to write. Writing is embedded in my soul.
So maybe writing is my calling, but I’m going to have to branch out and try some things to see what it is that’s meant for me.